Time may pass and people may change, but some things remain constant.
Recently I discovered something surprising. In my first post here I mentioned how I have not blogged in ages and that I’m a private person, right? Well, one day as I was reading Sharon’s blog on Tumblr, I wanted to like a post and had to get a Tumblr account to do so. And you know what?? Turns out that I actually already have a Tumblr account that I forgot all about, and that I had private two blogs on it! I had created them about five years back and wrote in them for a while before I forgot about them entirely and erased them from my memory. So it was quite strange to be reading something I have entirely no recollection of. Hahahaha. It was quite amusing to read those old posts, cringing at the old me who is actually not that different from the current me. So probably in a few years’ time when I look back on my posts here, I will cringe as well. But they were good records of the things I was going through and how my life was like then, since as you can tell my memory is not the best.
What really struck me was the similarity between my old blog and my current blog, the old me and the current me. I even numbered my posts the same way (#number what post) and the style of writing was similar. All the posts were private so that no one could read them. It has been five years, they’re completely gone from my memory, yet now when I write I still do it in a similar manner.
It made me wonder, how much have I changed as a person from five years ago? Have I become a better person, have I grown in my character, or am I still the same as before? I hope that I’ve grown and matured, that I’ve better character now than before. The older I get, the more I am determined that I want to be a person of good character. The best thing is that I know that I can. I sit under the teachings of my wise Pastors who not just teach me spiritual things, but also disciple me in my character. I have leaders who sow into my life and care for me personally. How lucky I am! I never want to grow older and start to think too highly of myself, becoming unchangeable and stubborn in my ways. May my heart be humble and my attitude teachable, that my Pastors and leaders can still speak into my life even when I’m 60! ^^ And of course, the ultimate teacher is Jesus and the Word of God.
I love this verse in Hebrews 4:12.
For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
It was one of the scripture memory verses that I had to commit to heart for AMT (or BMT or something) and as I broke it down part by part to remember, it created in me this awe and reverence for the Word of God. It is living and powerful. It is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Many people keep the thoughts and intents of their hearts hidden (me included). Other people only see your words and actions, the external things, the things you choose to reveal. But God can see right into us, right into who we are, and there is no hiding from Him. You may only think it but not say it out loud, but to God it is the same. Doesn’t this just put the holy fear of God into you? It certainly did in me. It makes me want to walk right with God inside and out, not for man to see, but for God who knows. And it also reminds me of God’s love ❤ for me. He sees me and knows me inside out, and He still loves me. That’s unconditional love! I don’t deserve it, but I’m thankful for it. God is so good!! I want to love others like that too.