#6a Who Am I

2 Samuel 7:18-29

18 Then King David went in and sat before the Lord; and he said: “Who am I, O Lord God? And what is my house, that You have brought me this far? 19 And yet this was a small thing in Your sight, O Lord God; and You have also spoken of Your servant’s house for a great while to come. Is this the manner of man, O Lord God? 20 Now what more can David say to You? For You, Lord God, know Your servant. 21 For Your word’s sake, and according to Your own heart, You have done all these great things, to make Your servant know them. 22 Therefore You are great, O Lord God. For there is none like You, nor is there any God besides You, according to all that we have heard with our ears. 23 And who is like Your people, like Israel, the one nation on the earth whom God went to redeem for Himself as a people, to make for Himself a name—and to do for Yourself great and awesome deeds for Your land—before Your people whom You redeemed for Yourself from Egypt, the nations, and their gods? 24 For You have made Your people Israel Your very own people forever; and You, Lord, have become their God.

25 “Now, O Lord God, the word which You have spoken concerning Your servant and concerning his house, establish it forever and do as You have said. 26 So let Your name be magnified forever, saying, ‘The Lord of hosts is the God over Israel.’ And let the house of Your servant David be established before You. 27 For You, O Lord of hosts, God of Israel, have revealed this to Your servant, saying, ‘I will build you a house.’ Therefore Your servant has found it in his heart to pray this prayer to You.

28 “And now, O Lord God, You are God, and Your words are true, and You have promised this goodness to Your servant. 29 Now therefore, let it please You to bless the house of Your servant, that it may continue before You forever; for You, O Lord God, have spoken it, and with Your blessing let the house of Your servant be blessed forever.”

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Who Am I
by Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt?

Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?

Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I’m calling.
Lord, You catch me when I’m falling.
And You’ve told me who I am.
I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again?
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me?

Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I’m calling.
Lord, You catch me when I’m falling.
And You’ve told me who I am.

I am Yours.

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#5 Climbing Mt Kinabalu

Last month I spent some time to think about my life and write down some plans. Out of the many things I wrote down, one of the personal goals under ‘hobbies/interests’ was to climb Mt Kinabalu by June next year. I shared this plan with some friends, and they were excited and wanted to do it together. We decided to go on this adventure next February around the Chinese New Year period, and even talked about the physical training we would do to prepare for the climb.

Then, last week an earthquake struck in Sabah (where Mt Kinabalu is) and resulted in the deaths of several children and teachers who were on a school trip to scale the mountain. Many of them were on the via ferrata route when the earthquake happened, a highly steep route with little vegetation but made safe due to steel cables pegged into the rock wall. This was the same route I was planning to climb as it provided a unique experience of mountain climbing (not every mountain is via ferrata certified). After the news was released, there was an outpouring of comments on social media in Singapore, and everyone had something to say about it. I read of many parents questioning why young children were climbing such dangerous mountains, of why the school would propose something preposterous like that. Some said that as a parent they would never have allowed their child to go on such a trip. I wondered if perhaps they were right; were twelve year olds too young to attempt it? Also, I must admit that the accident made me have second thoughts. It put a little fear in my heart that maybe I should reconsider, that perhaps it was reckless of me to want to climb the mountain. Maybe I should just get these silly thoughts of wanting another ‘adventurous expedition’ out of my head.

Via Ferrata - Mt K

via ferrata, which means iron road

MtK peak

The view from the peak of Mt Kinabalu

(photos not mine)

Then I read this blog, and it just put things back into perspective. (Click on title to read entire article)

Falling Rocks and Throwing Stones | #SabahQuake

The rocks have done enough damage. Don’t allow it to further kill the spirit of adventure and discovery in our youths.
The last thing we should do is to shrink back and start bubble-wrapping our kids.
We must not succumb to fear and start playing safe.
We must not over-react and over-compensate, allowing Mount Kinabalu to cast a looming shadow over our next generation. Let the avalanche come to a halt at the foot of the mountain. Don’t allow the fear to cascade down into the hearts and minds of our youths.

It was a totally unexpected accident. Even five-year-olds have climbed the mountain before; twelve is not too young. If someone dies in a car accident, am I not going to sit in a car then? If people die after running, am I not going to exercise then?

Reason and logic reigned again. Of course it doesn’t mean that I am going to be reckless and take unnecessary risks, but I shouldn’t let fear dictate my life. And the response to this tragedy is not to start to bubble wrap ourselves against any possible harm, but to improve and see how we can prevent such tragedies from happening again (I’m not just referring to the earthquake but to any accidents in general). That’s how we don’t let those lives go in vain. Let’s go on to make things better, to live even better. That’s how we honor their memory, their sense of adventure, their courage, and their selflessness in their last moments. People say your true self comes out when you face death. If so, I think those teachers and children are admirable and we should live on in honor of their memory.

Sabah quake: ‘One day, I’ll return to Mt Kinabalu’

Chantal Phuay, twelve-year-old: “We see and comfort each other. One day, I’ll go to Mount Kinabalu and try it again just to ensure that the TKPS spirit continues.”

That’s the spirit!

#4 Same Same Yet Different

Time may pass and people may change, but some things remain constant.

Recently I discovered something surprising. In my first post here I mentioned how I have not blogged in ages and that I’m a private person, right? Well, one day as I was reading Sharon’s blog on Tumblr, I wanted to like a post and had to get a Tumblr account to do so. And you know what?? Turns out that I actually already have a Tumblr account that I forgot all about, and that I had private two blogs on it! I had created them about five years back and wrote in them for a while before I forgot about them entirely and erased them from my memory. So it was quite strange to be reading something I have entirely no recollection of. Hahahaha. It was quite amusing to read those old posts, cringing at the old me who is actually not that different from the current me. So probably in a few years’ time when I look back on my posts here, I will cringe as well. But they were good records of the things I was going through and how my life was like then, since as you can tell my memory is not the best.

What really struck me was the similarity between my old blog and my current blog, the old me and the current me. I even numbered my posts the same way (#number what post) and the style of writing was similar. All the posts were private so that no one could read them. It has been five years, they’re completely gone from my memory, yet now when I write I still do it in a similar manner.

It made me wonder, how much have I changed as a person from five years ago? Have I become a better person, have I grown in my character, or am I still the same as before? I hope that I’ve grown and matured, that I’ve better character now than before. The older I get, the more I am determined that I want to be a person of good character. The best thing is that I know that I can. I sit under the teachings of my wise Pastors who not just teach me spiritual things, but also disciple me in my character. I have leaders who sow into my life and care for me personally. How lucky I am! I never want to grow older and start to think too highly of myself, becoming unchangeable and stubborn in my ways. May my heart be humble and my attitude teachable, that my Pastors and leaders can still speak into my life even when I’m 60! ^^ And of course, the ultimate teacher is Jesus and the Word of God.

I love this verse in Hebrews 4:12.
For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

It was one of the scripture memory verses that I had to commit to heart for AMT (or BMT or something) and as I broke it down part by part to remember, it created in me this awe and reverence for the Word of God. It is living and powerful. It is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Many people keep the thoughts and intents of their hearts hidden (me included). Other people only see your words and actions, the external things, the things you choose to reveal. But God can see right into us, right into who we are, and there is no hiding from Him. You may only think it but not say it out loud, but to God it is the same. Doesn’t this just put the holy fear of God into you? It certainly did in me. It makes me want to walk right with God inside and out, not for man to see, but for God who knows. And it also reminds me of God’s love ❤ for me. He sees me and knows me inside out, and He still loves me. That’s unconditional love! I don’t deserve it, but I’m thankful for it. God is so good!! I want to love others like that too.